R.I.P.

That Rip Van Winkle woke and went 
   Back home is popularly known,
But how so died the idle gent
   Is curiously left alone.

I'll tell you this: To take a nap
   Into the hills he took a walk.
He ne'er walk'd back and ne'er did hap
   With any kin again to talk.

Within the hills his corpse was found,
   The elder's body lately dead,
Lying upon the dewy ground,
   A pumpkin where'd have been his head.

O.O

Out of Tune

The old dilapidated house
   That's always in the rain
Forgotten is by all the world,
   Covered with weeds its lane.

Yet, often from the house is heard
   By all but human ears
A brittle spinet sounding airs
   That seem to drip with tears;

A brittle spinet sounding airs
   In distant minor keys,
Composed of sorrows out of tune.
   Enormous wheels of cheese.

O.O

A Runcible Round

The murderous Kankers went off in a Sieve
   To cross the Bloody Sea;   
And all of their friends cried, "Happy dead ends!"
   Maliciously nice as could be,
   Their mouths full of moldy Brie.  

The night was bright with yellow light;
   A lightning storm arose.
The Kankers flew a metal kite
   That looked like a boogery nose.
The Bloody Sea delighted to bite
   A rain of torrible crows.

The Sieve was downed; the Kankers were drowned;
   Their bodies washed ashore
   Where they had sailed for.
Their smiling faces looked up from the ground 
   On the hills of the Chankly Bore,
   And sang this runcible round:——

"A bat and a rat and a cat
Convened for a quatical chat:
  They plotted a killing——
  A murder most chilling——
Of bumps in the night that go SPLAT!"

O.O

Stone Jack

The sculptor-witch crafted with skill
   His model's eviler twin:
A stony Jack O'Lantern, ill
   And twisted-sick with sin.

He captured well the vivid eyes 
   That smile and look things dead,
The nose-hole where aroma dies,
   The mouth on curses fed.

Pleased with himself, pleased with his art,
   And, nothing left to do,
He gives it life in Satan's heart
   By yelling at it, "BOO!"

O.O

The Good Witch of Boulder County

The Good Witch of Boulder County,
Running Deer,
Burns like incense
And blazes like a forest fire.
A caster of kinetic, connecting spells,
He curses days when his she-demon, Nicotina,
And his goddess, Marijuana, are absent.
All other days he blesses with wishes
That all would blessèd be.

O.O

The Rabid Flying Rat-Man

A ratty abomination,
With a snake for a tail
And tattered-shabby bat wings,
The Rabid Flying Rat-Man
Flirts drunkenly
With Diabetes, Hepatitis, and Tuberculosis,
And is bound to get lucky with one of them.
The Spirit-Animal of Halloween,
It eats garbage,
Spits venom,
Never bathes,
And does a lot of rat poison
Recreationally.

O.O

Tripping Weird

I’m all alone.
I swallow a tube of pills.
This is some dirty shit,
some real hillbilly shit.
Thirty minutes later the party starts.
I’ve invited some very strange guests into my head and house.
I’m very heavy.
I can’t remember anything…

“ERIC! Eric, eric…”
Hello?…
Is someone here?
“ERIC! Eric, eric…”
It echoes…
“ERIC! Eric, eric…”
Hello?…
My voice is pale and ghostly.
It’s as dry as my mouth.
There’s a lot of talking in that other room.
I go to the room…
I’m afraid to open the door…
They’re on the other side…
But I have to open the door…
“ERIC! Eric, eric…”
Hello?…
I open the door…
The room is empty.
I’m all alone.
“ERIC! Eric, eric…”
Hello?…

Bugs are everywhere.
Bugs are crawling everywhere.
Big, nasty bugs.
Colors are dull.
Sounds are dull.
Everything is dull.
I’m dull.
I’m very dull and heavy.
I’m walking like Frankenstein’s monster.
I’m awake in a PG-13 nightmare.
I’m in my own Halloween Town.
“ERIC! Eric, eric…”
Hello?…
I can’t remember anything…

“ERIC! Eric, eric…”
Hello?…
I’m very heavy.
I go to sit down, and I plop down.
I’m very heavy.
“ERIC! Eric, eric…”
Hello?…
Is someone here?…

I’m all alone.
Colors are weird.
Sounds are weird.
Everything is weird.
I’m weird.
I’m very weird and heavy.
“ERIC! Eric, eric…”
Hello?…
Hello?…

I get up.
I’m very heavy.
I’m walking like Frankenstein’s monster.
“ERIC! Eric, eric…”
Hello?…
Is someone here?…
I can’t remember anything…

There’s a lot of talking in that other room.
I go to the room…
I’m afraid to open the door…
They’re on the other side…
But I have to open the door…
“ERIC! Eric, eric…”
Hello?…
Hello?…
I open the door…
The room is empty.
I’m all alone.
“ERIC! Eric, eric…”
Hello?…

I’m walking like Frankenstein’s monster.
There are so many bugs…
They’re squirming around everywhere…
Big-ass, nasty bugs…
crawling everywhere…
I’m all alone.
“ERIC! Eric, eric…”
Hello?…
Is someone here?…
I can’t remember anything…

I’m awake in a PG-13 nightmare.
I’d better enjoy it:
I’ll be suicidally depressed for the next few days…
I’m going to feel horrible for the next few days…
That I remember…

I can’t remember anything…
What’d I just say?…
I’m all alone.
“ERIC! Eric, eric…”
Hello?…
Hello?…

O.O