Sick Days

An alcomoholic named Moses
Drank one day the largest of doses:
  He drank so much liquor
  He never was sicker
Until he developed cirrhosis.

O.O

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The Good Witch of Boulder County

The Good Witch of Boulder County,
Running Deer,
Burns like incense
And blazes like a forest fire.
A caster of kinetic, connecting spells,
He curses days when his she-demon, Nicotina,
And his goddess, Marijuana, are absent.
All other days he blesses with wishes
That all would blessèd be.

O.O

The Rabid Flying Rat-Man

A ratty abomination,
With a snake for a tail
And tattered-shabby bat wings,
The Rabid Flying Rat-Man
Flirts drunkenly
With Diabetes, Hepatitis, and Tuberculosis,
And is bound to get lucky with one of them.
The Spirit-Animal of Halloween,
It eats garbage,
Spits venom,
Never bathes,
And does a lot of rat poison
Recreationally.

O.O

Tripping Weird

I’m all alone.
I swallow a tube of pills.
This is some dirty shit,
some real hillbilly shit.
Thirty minutes later the party starts.
I’ve invited some very strange guests into my head and house.
I’m very heavy.
I can’t remember anything…

“ERIC! Eric, eric…”
Hello?…
Is someone here?
“ERIC! Eric, eric…”
It echoes…
“ERIC! Eric, eric…”
Hello?…
My voice is pale and ghostly.
It’s as dry as my mouth.
There’s a lot of talking in that other room.
I go to the room…
I’m afraid to open the door…
They’re on the other side…
But I have to open the door…
“ERIC! Eric, eric…”
Hello?…
I open the door…
The room is empty.
I’m all alone.
“ERIC! Eric, eric…”
Hello?…

Bugs are everywhere.
Bugs are crawling everywhere.
Big, nasty bugs.
Colors are dull.
Sounds are dull.
Everything is dull.
I’m dull.
I’m very dull and heavy.
I’m walking like Frankenstein’s monster.
I’m awake in a PG-13 nightmare.
I’m in my own Halloween Town.
“ERIC! Eric, eric…”
Hello?…
I can’t remember anything…

“ERIC! Eric, eric…”
Hello?…
I’m very heavy.
I go to sit down, and I plop down.
I’m very heavy.
“ERIC! Eric, eric…”
Hello?…
Is someone here?…

I’m all alone.
Colors are weird.
Sounds are weird.
Everything is weird.
I’m weird.
I’m very weird and heavy.
“ERIC! Eric, eric…”
Hello?…
Hello?…

I get up.
I’m very heavy.
I’m walking like Frankenstein’s monster.
“ERIC! Eric, eric…”
Hello?…
Is someone here?…
I can’t remember anything…

There’s a lot of talking in that other room.
I go to the room…
I’m afraid to open the door…
They’re on the other side…
But I have to open the door…
“ERIC! Eric, eric…”
Hello?…
Hello?…
I open the door…
The room is empty.
I’m all alone.
“ERIC! Eric, eric…”
Hello?…

I’m walking like Frankenstein’s monster.
There are so many bugs…
They’re squirming around everywhere…
Big-ass, nasty bugs…
crawling everywhere…
I’m all alone.
“ERIC! Eric, eric…”
Hello?…
Is someone here?…
I can’t remember anything…

I’m awake in a PG-13 nightmare.
I’d better enjoy it:
I’ll be suicidally depressed for the next few days…
I’m going to feel horrible for the next few days…
That I remember…

I can’t remember anything…
What’d I just say?…
I’m all alone.
“ERIC! Eric, eric…”
Hello?…
Hello?…

O.O

The Early Riser’s Drinking Song

Arise, arise, my ugly friends:
   Arise, and bring a cup!
I've got for you some witch's brew:
   Come out, and drink it up!

Come swim with me the river of dreams
   Where poisonous flowers bloom.
Come on, get high: climb up the sky:
   Get higher than high on "the broom"!

A lesser man can suck his can,
   His bottle, or his blood;
But me, I need the weedy mead——
   All other spirits are mud!

And those who know, they know it so:
   No other brew will do; 
So, be my guest and get possessed
   On my homemade witch's brew!

O.O